You Only Love Once.

This is, perhaps, the hardest blog post I’ve ever wrote… And maybe also the most beautiful one… It’s not easy to me to get the right words right now… But I need to write this down… I was just talking to a very close friend right this minute, and then he asked me about something which I answered honestly as I always do… But then the things he told me, and asked me, and answered me; made me figure out that when a love is true, there’s no way to replace it…

You only love once.

Seven years… This is not about the usual person these poems and posts are, but about someone who came long before him… About someone who ever took the most sincere love gesture, literaly acrossing the whole world to spend some time with me… If this is not true love, then I don’t know what is this… And I confess, now a days I can’t even think of him without crying… I hate to admit it, but this my friend is right about my need to talk to this person to fix up things, so I can really move on.

As a matter of fact, this person and I have tried to recover the contact recently after a couple years apart… To me, it felt like things have not changed, though… And it was like after so many mistakes, humbly, I’ve begun to understand everything… Yet, there’s a pending decision that’s not only in my own hands…

How to take a step that’s not up only to you? And how to replace someone that you loved more than anyone else in this earth? How to bring together again two friends that fell apart for an unsolved love? How can you love again, when right there, in the deepest corner of your heart, you know that all the stories you made up, were just a way to keep your heart safe for the only one you love?…

How can you forget a love for a lifetime?… A love that it doesn’t matter the distance… You are happy just to know that the person exists? And even though you cry, because things did not work out the way you expected them to, you’re still happy that the feeling is lasting beyond the years…

You only love once…

Even though some circumstances may proove a love to be “platonic”, while some facts may proove it not, a love is true when the choice can not be changed… And this is a moment when everything just seem to make sense… When a thing you used to say over and over again makes all the sense of the world… And then, you figure out that, it doesn’t matter how much you deny it, how much you try to run away, how much you try to just forget it… Your heart still belongs to one person, and you know it will never change. And whenever someone touches on the subject, it will hurt like a knife carved in your chest when you’re not around the owner of your heart….

And sometimes it’s someone who insists in just being your personal angel…

You only love once…

Yet, you only live once. And what can you do, if some decision isn’t only in one person’s hands but in the hands of two persons? And some times you have no choice, but moving on… There’s no much doing when the second part doesn’t make the same choice as you… It hurts, but life is made of choices… And then it comes a moment when you have to make it by yourself… The only care is to make it in a way you won’t regret it later, because some decisions are for a lifetime…

And there’s comming a time to me when I’ll have to make this choice, and I’ll can never look back.

Maybe I should take my friend’s advice and try to fix things up… So I’ll have peace to take the decision I have to… But it demands time…

And, for whomever is reading this, please, remember: You only love once. Not these fast relationships that takes a day to blossom and in the other it doesn’t exist anymore. I mean a true love, that even with all the thorns and all the misunderstandings, all the hurts and all the wounds, it will still last beyond the years and you will regret you did not take your chance when you could…

As it said the wise Saint-Exupèry: “There’s only love when the choice is irrevogable”.

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1 Comment

  1. As I read your words, i could feel your anguish, i could feel your heart beating rapidly then slowing, love found you and will not let you go! But all that i can say is pray to God in heaven that His spirit will lead you in the direction you should go and trust in Him. Sometimes we hold on to something we think is there, and accept living with the beautiful dream, when reality is near with open and loving arms, who will place you on a pedestal, always caring for your ever need, leaving your heart wonderfully assured. Step forward, you deserve it my sister! God bless you always my sister!

    Like

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