Who will bring me back the inspiration I lack?

As I’ve posted a couple days ago, in portuguese, I’m in a transition season in my life, and that includes getting to know people, and I’ve been knowing some amazing guys, at least people lovely to talk to… Some of them also extremely handsome, kind, good hearted… Anyone would easily fall in love with them… Anyone… but me.

And for my surprise, last night, as I was going to sleep I’ve figured out such a sad thing for me… I can’t fall in love anymore. Have you ever known an artist that does not love? An artist without love is barely an artist! I don’t know why, I don’t know how, I just can’t. It doesn’t matter how much I try to grow deep my feelings towards someone… I can’t feel a thing. The most I get is an ephemeral enchantment and that’s all… and just like any ephemeral thing, in a couple days everything is gone.

As I listen to Francis Cabrel – Je t’aimais, Je t’aime et Je t’aimerai, I try to find in my heart a reason why is it like that, and how could it grow this cold after all?… I refuse to believe it’s still because of someone who doesn’t deserve my love at all, especially because he doesn’t mean anything anymore to me. I refuse taking that I won’t rebuild my life after all this time. I refuse to close my heart for life. And I won’t allow it to happen…

Yet, everywhere I look in my particular universe, the colors come and go, there’s no constance… Light burns and then it’s gone in a matter of seconds. A flower that bloom in tne morning and by midday doesn’t exist anymore… A heart that doesn’t beat anymore. A song turned out in silence… Not a sign of life to a dream. And I’m not even talking about the same old dreams… No… The only thing I’ve been yearning is for new dreams, new life, new horizons and brand new path. One that I could run together with someone able to catch my essence, someone able to see my soul beyond my words and beyond my sadness…

But how will I find him if I can not fall in love anymore?

How?…

Who will bring me back the inspiration I lack? Since it took me only one to take it all and leave my heart as empty as an ice desert… Who will touch my soul with such a deep sensibility as I feel it in Francis Cabrel’s voice?… Who will make my heart breath again? Who will make my heart sing and create a whole new universe for us? Who will make my heart shine again, who will make me believe in love again? Who will bring me back the inspiration I lack?

Please! Who will bring me back the inspiration I lack?

CBB 1.1

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