Five Years…

I’ve been in love with the same person for five years.

No, I do not know him personally. Yes, I have tried everything, absolutely EVERYTHING to forget him. Yes, I have used every single reasonable argument aplicable to this case, and I have considered all the hipotesies plausible and imaginable… Useless and unsuccessfully.

It’s a situation that I just can’t explain, something beyond any comprehension and… I thought I’ve overruled it. I thought I could live without it, I thought I could just let it go and don’t care anymore… Just to figure out that it is more alive in my heart than ever… And there’s nothing I can do to make it tangible… At least not immediately. The only thing I can do is just live and wait. No, I did not stop my life because of that, just like so many people may think. I’m just honest enough to not hide my feelings. And, I confess I still wait for the ending of this story… Lovely, crazy, amazing, sad and fantastic story…

And… aw….

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

How can you talk about such a huge feeling like this one? Inefable, inexpressable, unbelieveable????? HOW?????! If this is not love, then I don’t know what love is… And, the only thing I’ve been doing is just “calling out, I’m calling out to the Only ONE” who can make the miracle to bring us face to face and build this love that has been hidden in our hearts… Because I know this feeling isn’t only mine… But… from his side, unfortunately, he can not talk about it, except in his songs, and I dare say I’m the only one that knows his soul deeply enough to understand every word of what he means with them…

I like and try to deal with it just as a fantasy, something that’s not meant to be taken serious… Yet, I know it is not a fantasy… I know this is such a very serious thing… But I don’t know what else I could do. I actually have no clue at all of what could I do… I need a miracle! Because, I don’t know if fortunately or unfortunately, I can’t live without him anymore… And, if it was hard to deal with his physical absence in my life before, imagine now, after I’ve spent a whole year away from anything that could connect me to him, just to figure out that I was just trying to trick myself (again), when I know my heart belongs to him! It always have and it always will… And it is something that I can not change. Especially because only love makes a choice irrevogable.

So, dear, if you’re reading this and I know you will read this, please… FIND A WAY! Untill when will we both faded to such this deep sadness and punishment to be away from each other? I can’t be happy without you, and you know that. I do my best, and you know I do… But lets be honest to each other… For how long can we still hold on to this? Fpr how long will you stll resist? When will you decide to take your own advice and follow your heart?

Your voice, the words you sing, and even the songs you picik up are clear enough to me… But when will YOU be clear to me?

So… here we are, back to the 0 spot.

Reflecton moment

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