A new chapter is about to be written in my life. And this chapter isn’t about believing or not. It’s about the right way to act when I am beside of the one I love. This chapter is about recovering my self control and my serenity, that I’ve been missing for the last years and especially that had left me completely on the last months. This chapter is about the long process of preparing my heart to receive what is already mine… To touch my dream. It’s about the long process of becoming the woman that I must be for him. It’s about the class and the elegance I must to recover and improve, to be the LADY that he deserves that I am.
It shall not be easy, though… Not when you have held so many things for all your life that have hurt you in the past and now you’re trying to let them go, but it’s right when you least know how to deal with them, or when you know you’ll have to change some bad habits! lol It shall not be easy because it will requires much more patience and persistence than I had until now. It shall not be easy because the journey is long. But it gets easier, when you know precisely what do you have ahead of you, when you can antecipate the obstacles you’ll have to overrule and to be ready to them.
Have you never felt scared when you saw being laid upon your hands the beautiful responsability of making someone happy? Have you never felt scared that the world would keep the eyes on you to get sure you’re really able to execute it? Have you never felt the terrible fear of hurting the person you love most in the earth?Well… I do!!! hahah… But it’s not a fear to generate panic, no. It’s that feeling that makes you try your best to see the other happy. Or at least this is what I want most in the earh!
I dream to be good enough for him… I dream to be excelent in everything I do for him. I dream to get myself as the most beautiful girl in the world just for him… I dream to be ready for him. I dream to be the girl of his dreams… I dream to work and do anything at my reach to be that girl and give my best to him.
And the side effects of all this are the butterflies on my stomach and that nervous feeling of: MY! Do I really deserve it????
I wish I was perfect for him…