Hmmm, well… this is a boring day, at home, a huge wish of writing, thousand of ideas exploding at the same time on my mind and… Ha! As usual I don’t get find the right words to translate exactly how I’m feeling right now, not only about things of my heart, but also about some human concepts, religiosity, faith, beliefs, human relations…
How translate in words the things that can’t be translated throught them? I mean… how can you express by words all the faith of peoples around the world, and how can you judge if are they wrong or right? How can you say to someone where is the right way to find God, if HE is mighty and rules the WHOLE UNIVERSE, and is so lovely that speaks to peoples heart from HIS OWN way?
My life has been turning around only one question: WHERE IS THE TRUTH? If suddenly you wake up and see that everything you’ve learned since your childhood has too many lacks and you wake up to see the world’s necessities and you realize that who should be taking care of the world isn’t doing absolutely nothing?! If you wake up and have your eyes open to see that nobody is able to face the truth, and that peoples are so blind to get see it? If you realize that peoples preach SAVE THE WORLD, but refuse to bring who needs to be safe to near of them?! If suddenly you wake up and see that where you used face as your home isn’t your home anymore and that now you stare the horizon and see that your place is much more vaste than you could ever imagine, and there are so many truths and differents points of view, and how can you not feel lost in that imensity?
How to find the TRUTH? If the human’s heart is so tricky that you can’t trust 100% in it, if you face the religious books from every religion and everything you can read is about how the humanity is running in circles? How dare the men catch GOD under its poor concepts and beliefs, when, after some years of convivence you begin to know him and relize that how much more you get approach of HIS amazing mercy, more you realize how far, and small and poor you are and face that without HIM you’re nothing? But so, how can you know HIM if you don’t open your mind and heart?… If you don’t open yourself to let Him speak to you, even that to this you need relearn everything?
This is not an easy way to take, but if you wish to know God, it’s needed.
To understand the God’s love, you need first see who is around you. I believe in Jesus as my Savior and Lord, because when I look at him, I see the padron of conduct that we all should assume before the society and about life. When I look at HIM, I can understand what did He mean with: "the friend is able to give the life for his friends". THIS IS LOVE. I dare say that Jesus have done much more than this. He gave His life not only for His friends, but also for His enemies! Showing grace, forgiveness and mercy.
Are we able to show mercy and forgiveness to the members of our own family? I can say by myself: not even. So, how can anyone say that some or other person is following the wrong way? There’s a long time I realized that this kind of judgement doesn’t compete to me doing it.
There are things in this world, and in this vaste universe that we’ll never be able to understand or reach with our limited comprehension… Because, if I can say that I’m really knowing WHO IS GOD, so, nothing that the man can say will make the same sense to me. Not anymore, because when you experience the true comunion with God, your life is really changed and sometimes you feel you went too far, when in the reality, you get nearer of HIM. And I dare say, that is absolutely crazy for a human mind get.
But, isn’t the God’s wisdom madness to the men?…
Clara Maria Cristina Borges de Medeiros
Itaboraí, January 19, 2010.