When the night falls

The tears fall with every drop of rain running down in my window… And when nobodyelse is looking at me, the heart get broken with the loneliness… And the pain is so huge that rips the soul untill don’t survive any piece of it…

Then I remember my life… and everything I’ve searching since I’ve got myself… Love, friendship and freedom… I’ve never asked for so much than this… I don’t need so much to be happy… No I don’t… But right now I look ahead of me, and all I can see is only one by one of my dream’s wings broken… And I feel like I can’t fly anymore…

No, I can’t fly anymore…

I’ve been trying, with all my strenghts, to run away from that feeling… I’ve been taking every resource I know I can get, but nothing is working as I expected to… I see myself surrounded by darkness and cold, when the night falls and nobody is looking at me…

So I cry… so silent… I keep weeping, just like years ago… knowing that I’ve been running in circles for years… Conscient that I’ll never get out of the same place… But I keep trying, feeding ilusions, creating fantasies worlds, building sand castles… Drinking every drop of dream I find in my way, trying to survive… Trying to get a spark of life at least…

I try to meet new peoples, get new friends, expand my horizons… but when I face the mirror I have inside me… Nothing have really changed… I try to find out what I’m doing wrong, I try to get control my obcessions, I try to keep my best smile in my face and my warmest care in my arms and words… But nothing works… There’s still a place empty in my heart… Who is comming to take it? And when?

No… Nobody will come… He will never come to me…

I should know it would happen…

Clara Maria Cristina Borges de Medeiros
Itaboraí, January 6, 2010.


1 Comment

  1. This is beautifully written, as always Clara. As I read I see myself, not too long ago. I stopped looking for love, but made sure I always gave love to those around me. When you smile at a stranger and they return that smile, the warmth spreads through both of you. Show love in all you do, give love to all you meet without expectations of any thing in return. It is then that love will find you… when you least expect it. Stop looking and let love find you! Trust me… it will. love and hugs sent your way… always, Loretta


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