Loneliness

Brazilian Valentine’s  Day. A rainny and melancholy day… What do you enjoy to do when you feel sad? I like to walk alone at the beach. And in this melancholy and rainny day I did it. I had to visit someone very important to me. So I didn’t take the way that everybody would take. As I use to do, I took a different way. In place of to go by the principal avenue, I went by the beach. The way is longer, sometimes most tiring, but pleasant a lot. And I can get my way thinking. Only God, my thoughts and myself.

Then I realized how much deep is my soul. I like to close me inside myself and feel intensely every feeling of my heart. I like to think about them. I like to know them: happiness, faith, love, hope, passion, melancholy, sadness, loneliness… And is about that last one that I wanna talk about.

we live days when the relationships are fargile and superficials. I’ve heard my favorite singer saying once time about how his routine must be lonely sometimes. And I agree with him. No matter how much money you may have. No matter how many nice peoples you may be arounded for. There’s always one moment at least when you feel alone and out of place. The great secret is in how do you face those moments. They are importants to know yourself.

We also may feel alone when we have to take important decisions. When we need  to make  choices that are too hard to our hearts. When we have to choice between the dream and the reality, for example. What would you be able to do to get reach a dream? Would you open hand of your greatest dream for someone’s love? Questions that the only person may answer are ourselves. And is impossible to avoid the loneliness feeling in those moments. Specially when you feel that you didn’t get find your own place yet.

I’m out of my place. Almost 27 years old and I didn’t find my place, my home yet. I don’t know where is it. And all that I want is to find the one that will take me home with him, will stare deeply in my eyes and say to me: Finally I’ve found you, my wife.

Clara Maria Cristina Borges de Medeiros
Niterói, June 12th, 2009.

 
Currently listening:
A New Journey
By Celtic Woman
Release date: 2007-01-30
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